Baby Name Quandry

Dear Nanny,

I am expecting my first baby and my husband and I are anxiously awaiting his debut in another month. We have spent much of the past eight months deliberating over baby names and so far have not been able to agree. I’m worried that we’ll be calling this child “Baby” until he graduates from college! Our problem: As a first generation American, with Irish parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles and an extended clan on both sides of the Atlantic, I am steeped in my Celtic heritage. I feel quite strongly that we should honor my family heritage in naming our child. My husband is a blue-blood Puritan and he opposes my desire for authentic, ethnic names because he finds them difficult to spell and pronounce. He wants to name the child Charles. Help!

--Celtic traditionalist

Dear Celtic traditionalist,

What a timely inquiry! The Flaherty clan is welcoming its newest member today, as my cousin’s daughter just delivered a darling baby boy into the world. New babies are such a joy! The little guy, however, is still awaiting his name and the topic of conversation around here has focused on naming babies.

As you can imagine, with our Irish roots, many of my grandchildren have very traditional Irish names (Cian, Maeve, Patrick) or Americanized Irish names (Kelly, Ryan). A few, however, have classic names with no particular tie to Ireland (Christopher, Peter, Nicholas). While many members of the youngest generation of our extended clan have very distinct Celtic names (Caileen, Sean, Caitriona, Aidan, Cormac, Daragh, Eamonn, Ronan, Aoife, Orla, Seamus); some do not (Helen, Sophia). I myself have a love for the lyrical sound of many Celtic names, but I also recognize that to American eyes and ears the sights of Irish spelling and the non-instinctive pronunciation are not always easy. Aside from the fact that your husband is uncomfortable with the sound and spelling of the names you love; unless you are raising your child in Ireland, you need to be prepared that many others will be as well. You can read an interesting article about this topic in Psychology Today.

Even the Wall Street Journal has jumped into the baby naming discussion and recently reported the latest trend for parents-to-be: hiring naming consultants and parents’ modern obsession with the “googleability” of their new baby’s moniker. Some recent studies have shown that resumes bearing ethnic names generate fewer interviews than those with more traditional names and comparable skill sets and years of experience.

I, however, do not believe hiring consultants and worrying about resumes or Google searches (in twenty years will we still be googling?) is the answer to your dilemma. I think the most important thing for you and your husband to do is to search for a compromise. Co-parenting takes a lot of communication and some degree of compromise because you and your husband will not always agree. Try to look at your ability to resolve this issue as a dry run for the many others you will face together as you raise "Baby."

The child is certainly going to have Celtic genes and will be gifted with your knowledge and love of that heritage. However, he or she will also share your husband’s “blue blood” and that will be his heritage as well. So on the naming front, perhaps you can pick a strong Celtic name with an anglicized spelling or a Celtic name that is easier to pronounce (a Caileen as opposed to an Aoife); or pair a Celtic first name, with a “blue blood” middle name. My point is not to abandon naming your child in the cultural and familiar tradition that is important to you, but rather to search for something within that tradition that appeals to both you and Daddy-to-be. Perhaps this site will help: Baby Names of Ireland.

Good luck and let me know what you end up naming your bundle of joy!
--Nanny